


The Ahhh Truth

by spikeisthebigbad



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Episode: s06e14 Older and Far Away, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Romance, Sick Character, Truth Spells
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23524570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeisthebigbad/pseuds/spikeisthebigbad
Summary: A cold runs rampant through the Scoobies. The symptom? Sneezing, fatigue, headaches, stuffy runny noses, and an inability to tell a lie.An answer to a challenge issued by killjoy on Elysian Fields A Spuffy Fanfiction Archive. It's also posted there, and will probably update there a little faster. This is my first time answering a challenge, hopefully I don't screw it up.
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins
Kudos: 33





	1. Policy of Truth

Sheryl sifted through the books on magical self-help. Chills racked her body. Pain. Everything hurt. A deep ache that invaded her bones, and webbed out into her muscles. Her head throbbed, pressure pushed against her nasal passages in a way that no amount of nose blowing relieved. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, and stomped over to the counter.

"Hey, I need a spell," she croaked, her throat tightening reflexively, rebelling against the rawness of her vocal cords.

A blonde, far too happy for Sheryl's tastes, smiled at her from behind the counter. "I'm sure I can help with that. What kind of spell?"

"A spell, to get rid of this cold," she explained. "I can't take it anymore."

"Oh. Well actually a cold is natural. There are some teas I can suggest, a few meditations to heal and center yourself, but no spells."

Sheryl's eye twitched, and she grasped between clenched teeth, "Magic got me into this mess! My ex boyfriend's a warlock, and the bastard gave me this cold!"

"Well there's no actual spell or curse for the cold," the blonde explained kindly. "I do have a book on the herbs and meditations. It really should help."

"I... fine. Give me the damn tea book."

"It'll work wonders, I promise. I use these when I'm sick and I always feel better." She stepped away, presumably to retrieve the magicless tea book.

"Magic Box my ass. More like New Age Hippy Box." She sneezed into her hands, groaning as she wiped them on her pants.

"Here we are," the store clerk said as she approached. "Okay, it's... twelve dollars."

Sheryl sneered and she pulled a crumpled twenty out of her pocket and dropped it on the counter. "This is probably the biggest waste of money. I can't believe a magic store has no magic books."

"Trust me, magic is a helper, but not a cure. It's dangerous. These teas will be safer."

"Watch me, as soon as I'm better I'll show Shaun that I don't have to be a witch to be dangerous," she growled.

The blonde stared at her, wide eyed and cautious. "Well I guess good luck with that." She passed over the change and book.

"It's not like the sex was even good. He didn't know where all the pieces were, ya know?"

The shopkeep laughed half heartedly. "Yeah, sure I know. Men and their ... unknowing ways." She cleared her throat, "Okay then."

"Sorry, I can't lie. Or hide anything. I just... say what comes into my mind."

Sheryl made a hasty retreat before the woman could say anything.

"I'm going to slap Shaun so hard if I see him again," she sniffled and coughed. "I'm going to sneeze on his face."

XxXxXx

Tara shook watched the strange woman leave before returning to her task at hand. Stocking the shelves with various eyes.

"Are you coming over tomorrow?" Buffy asked as she came into the shop through the training room. "It's my birthday. I mean, they're usually a mess, but if something goes wrong at least we're all together."

"Of course. I wouldn't miss your birthday."

Buffy sat on the counter, sipping from her water bottle. "Good. I just... I know it might be awkward. Willow and everything."

Tara sighed. "I'm sure it will be awkward. Willow is still a big part of my life, and we can't be together. But we share friends, we have to work through the awkwardness."

"Good do I understand that. When Angel was still here anytime we were together it was weird. I wanted to hold his hand, or kiss him, and I kept reminding myself I couldn't anymore. It felt wrong."

Tara rubbed her neck and sat, a wave of exhaustion stealing her strength. "And... and Spike?" she asked tentatively.

Buffy's face soured. "I never feel anything like that for Spike. He's... a mistake. Nothing more."

"Maybe, if you really feel like that, you should quit him. He's sweet in his own way, and he loves you. Using him is only hurting you both," she said.

"He doesn't love me. He can't," Buffy argued. "He doesn't feel anything good, or human."

"Except he does, and I can see it. I read auras Buffy, and right now yours is telling me you know he can feel."

"Oh? Is there a color for that? Is it purple? I'm feeling a little purple."

Tara bit her tongue, and tried to apologize, but her mouth opened and words came out against her will. "You're feeling shame, anger, and fear. A lot of fear. And beneath all that there's a glimmer of something warm. Do you have feelings for Spike?"

"No," Buffy snapped and hopped off the counter. "Look this conversation is way off topic. I'll see you tomorrow night. I have to go."

Tara tried to say she was sorry, but she wasn't, and her throat wouldn't work the words out. Trying made her head hurt. She nodded instead, and smiled wanly.


	2. Truth Hits Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you guys caught it, bu the chapter titles are song titles. Policy of Truth is Depeche Mode and Truth Hits Everyone is The Police.

"Buffy?" Dawn knocked on her sister's door. "Willow said Xander called, he's on his way now."

"I don't feel good," she called back. "Give me a minute, okay?"

"Need anything? I can get you water, or-"

"No," Buffy cut her off. "I need quiet until the aspirin kicks in. Please just... go away."

Dawn clenched her jaw. "Fine. Guess I'll just leave you alone. Whatever. Not like I care about how you feel anyway."

Dawn ran down the stairs, her footsteps as heavy as she could manage. "Stupid, stubborn, mean." She trailed off and hopped off the last step as Spike came out of the kitchen. 

"Hey! Are you here for the party?" She threw her arms around him. 

"Yeah, Niblet. Where is the birthday girl?" 

"In her room, acting extra bitchy. I think she's sick." She frowned. "Are you okay? You look like you met the wrong end of a ... well something that gives you black eyes."

He brushed his fingers under his right eye. "What, this? Nothing but some love taps. I'll be right as rain 'fore too long. Still a handsome devil, right?" He grinned.

"Well you got the devil part right at least," Xander sniped, following the path Spike took into the front room. "What are you doing here, Dead Boy Junior?"

"He's here for the party. And it's my house too, so- so he's invited," Dawn defended. 

Xander raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. When he annoys Buffy she'll toss him out on his ear anyway. I can wait."

"Good. Now the gifts go over here, and Willow is up-" Dawn swooned, her body too heavy for her legs to support. 

Spike moved instantly, catching her, and holding her against his chest. "You okay, pet?"

Xander shooed Spike back, picking Dawn up and laying her on the couch. "Too much sugar already, Dawnie?"

She groaned, shifting to sit squished against the back of the couch and the arm. "I just feel something. Dizzy. I feel dizzy. Stupid Buffy probably gave me her cold." 

"I'll get you some water," Spike said.

"No, I'll get her water," Xander snapped. "We don't need your help, Spike. Go away. Bug someone else for a minute."

"Go to hell, Harris," he snarled, turning on his heel with a dramatic swirl of his coat, and stalking back into the kitchen.

"You know you don't have to be mean to him. Spike tries to fit in." Dawn rubbed her forehead. "You might even like him if you tried.

"There is no force on this earth that could make me like him, Dawn. He's like a plague, or a really annoying cat that won't go away."

"A cat?"

"Well I mean the way he slinks around, or growls. It's all very feline. Do you want that water?"

Dawn snorted. "Sounds like you spend a lot of time thinking about Spike. You think he's cool, don't you?"

"What!? No way. Nuh-uh. He's the lamest vampire ever, including the original Dead Boy."

"I think Spike's cool. And cute too. I bet Buffy would agree too. Not verbally, but secretly. I think it would be awesome to have him as a brother-in-law."

Xander shook his head. "You're obviously delusional. I'll get you that water."

Spike slipped out of the shadows under the stairs as Xander made his retreat. He crouched in front of her and pressed a cold glass into her hand. "Water," he explained. "Harris can't tell me not to help you."

Blood crept up her neck and pinkened her cheeks. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Who me? I was much too busy imagining the Whelp dying painfully." He sat back on his haunches. "Although if I had heard, I'd probably have told you that I would love to have you as my sister-in-law, but no matter what, you're always my Niblet."

She ducked her head, laughing softly. "It's nice ... talking to you. You've been busy lately."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Sorry. Been a lot going on in the demon world. It's taken over my free time. I should have visited more. I'll start."

"Good, because my history teacher is way too happy with my papers lately. I totally need a random rant about how inaccurate the books are."

"Hey! I thought I told you I'd get the water?"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You did. I didn't much care."

Xander stomped upstairs. "I'm getting the guest of honor," he yelled. "And then you'll be gone soon after."

Dawn rolled her eyes, and groaned as the motion made her world tilt. "Man I really feel crappy."

The doorbell rang and Spike stood. "Maybe Red should look you over." The bell sounded again. "Come in, already," he called. "Bloody hell, it's not like the door is ever locked."

Tara closed the door after her. "You're not supposed to yell 'come in' randomly," she scolded. 

"I don't live here, and I'm a vampire, doesn't count. Not to mention I could hear you muttering to yourself the last five minutes."

"Oh. Okay then. You didn't hear what I was saying, right?"

"Didn't care enough to listen in. Busy with the Platelet here. She almost fainted earlier."

Tara's lips quirk up. "You're worried about her. It's cute."

"What? No. I mean yes. I mean just look at her, alright? I'm not exactly an expert on human diseases." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not cute."

Tara eased herself onto the opposite side of the couch. "Do you feel weak? A little headache coming on?" she asked.

Dawn started to nod, but stopped with her chin up. "And head rushy."

"That's how my cold started. I actually only came to drop off Buffy's present, and hopefully catch a glimpse of Willow." She clamped her teeth down, eyes widening. "I mean I really miss Willow and I really want to see her, even if it's only for a second." Her hand covered her mouth to stem the flow of words.

Dawn giggled. "I hope you two get back together. I miss watching you guys together. I don't really get to see many happy couples. I don't really like to count Xander and Anya because... well Anya is weird, and I have a crush on Xander."

"Niblet that's a horrible thing to say. Harris is not crush material."

Dawn stared at the adults, her mouth opened, but unable to express her mortification. 

She was saved from further embarrassment by Buffy, who slumped down the stairs. Xander and Willow flanked her, looking worse for wear. 

Buffy studied the group gathered by the couch and croaked. "Why is Spike in my house?"

"For your birthday party, what else?" Spike dropped into an armchair. "Although maybe I came hoping to hear an apology."

"Maybe I can't apologize because I feel too guilty to acknowledge it happened at all." Buffy growled, and pressed her lips together. 

"That is more than enough of an apology for me. All's forgiven."

Xander toggled back and forth between them. "I'm confused."

"Who do you think managed to beat me enough to keep my body from healing for weeks?" Spike frowned. "I didn't mean to say that."

Buffy just stared. Her mouth remained forcibly closed.   
"Hey, this is super weird," Willow said, "let's just start over and party. But maybe not too loudly because my head hurts."

"Yours too?" Tara asked softly. "Dawn and I have headaches too."

"Ditto," Buffy managed through closed teeth.

"Me too," Xander added. "But it only started like five minutes ago."

Spike rubbed his temple. "Now that you mention it I do too. And I'm not even drunk or hungover."

"You can't be sick," Tara said. "Vampires can't catch a cold."

"Yeah, I know. I haven't been sick in over a century. Just have a headache. And my chest hurts. It feels like a chaos demon is standing on it."

"That sounds like a cold," Dawn added. "And my nose is stuffy."

"Okay, what the bloody hell is happening now?"

"I think we're all sick," Willow said. "But if you're sick, it must be mystical somehow."

"Did you do it?" Xander asked. 

"What? No! I'm off the magics. You know that. Willow sat on the loveseat, and Buffy took the spot beside her.

"Well someone did it," Xander groaned. "I feel like I've been kicked by a soccer team. But I felt fine ten minutes ago."

"Me too." Spike leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. 

"I felt great until I talked to Buffy," Dawn said. "Of course she was rude and put me in a crappy mood, but then Spike showed up and made me feel happy again."

"Spike makes you happy?" Buffy finally spoke. "I shouldn't make you miserable while Spike makes you happy."

"Spike's awesome. He's been more supportive of me in the last year than anyone. Then you came back, and he stopped hanging with me. You barely notice I exist. No one bothers to check on me except Tara, and Willow scared her off."

"Now hang on a second, Niblet."

"I didn't scare Tara off, she left me."

"I've been trying, I can't be your mom, the slayer, the bread winner and Buffy!"

"Um guys," Anya interrupt. "I don't think it's appropriate to yell in front of the guests."

Every head turned to stare at the trio standing behind Anya. 

Clem waved shyly. "Hi, I'm Clem. Happy birthday by the way."

Sophie held herself, shifting from foot to foot. "You know Buffy, maybe I should go. I can call my mom."

Richard gave Xander an empty smile and said, "I can leave too. This seems like a bad time."

Anya hushed him. "No, no you can't go. Buffy is uncomfortably tense, and needs a boyfriend, or at least a friend with benefits. Go drink something, alcohol makes things less awkward."

Spike took to his feet, wobbling slightly. "I agree with demon girl. I definitely need alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol."


End file.
